How to be Social IRL

I suspect many adults today look at social interactions as a chess game, where every move has to be deliberate or calibrated and every sentence has a consequence, politechs.

This is not surprising when there are many posts telling us to leverage and monetize our network. But rarely does anyone tell us to just Be. Because telling someone to, “just be” is not exciting enough. Hence the constant reminders to leverage and the consequential anxiety when dealing with another person.

Interacting socially can be an important aspect of building relationships, connecting with others, and fostering a sense of belonging; so here are some tips on how to improve your social interactions:

Active listening: Pay attention to the person you're talking to and show genuine interest in what they're saying. Maintain eye contact, nod, and provide verbal cues to indicate that you're actively listening.

Engage in small talk: Initiate conversations by asking open-ended questions about the other person's interests, hobbies, or opinions. Small talk helps break the ice and allows you to find common ground.

Show empathy and understanding: Be mindful of others' feelings and perspectives. Validate their emotions, offer support, and avoid judgment. Empathy helps build trust and rapport in social interactions.

Maintain good body language: Non-verbal cues play a crucial role in communication. Stand or sit up straight, maintain an open posture, and use appropriate gestures. Avoid crossing your arms, fidgeting excessively, or invading others' personal space.

Practice good conversation skills: Be mindful of your speaking habits. Speak clearly, maintain an appropriate volume, and avoid interrupting others. Use a friendly and positive tone, and try to contribute meaningfully to the conversation.

Find common interests: Seek out shared hobbies, activities, or topics of interest. This helps establish a connection and provides a foundation for conversation and engagement. But be subtle about finding this out. Do not ask point blank what one’s hobbies or topics of interest are.

Be respectful and considerate: Treat others with kindness, respect their boundaries, and avoid offensive or inappropriate comments. Being considerate of others' feelings and needs fosters positive social interactions.

Practice active participation: Contribute to group discussions, offer your opinions, and share your experiences. Actively participating helps you build confidence and become more comfortable in social settings.

Take turns in conversations: Allow others to speak and avoid monopolizing the conversation. Show interest in what others have to say and encourage their participation.

Develop social skills: If you struggle with social interactions, consider reading books, taking courses, or seeking guidance to develop and improve your social skills. Practice in safe and supportive environments can boost your confidence.

Remember, social interactions take practice, and it's normal to feel nervous or awkward at times. Be patient with yourself and focus on gradually improving your social skills over time.